Staring out of the window, unlike his little sister, he was not enjoying the scenic beauty in their long drive. He was lost, quite lost in some world of his own. The constant chattering of his family felt nothing but a little buzz in his ears. Yes, he was completely lost in his thoughts.
Staring out, neither the horn bill, nor the luscious greenery caught his attention. All he could see was himself sitting lonely somewhere in dark and thinking about something. Well, a thought within a thought that sounds exciting, right? But the plain fact was that nothing seemed to excite him. Nah, he wasn’t in some depression. All he was trying to do was to figure out what and who he was. Just like every single one of us, he was trying to find his real self.
He was in his early twenties and was a smart guy. He was not that talkative and kept a little bit to himself, but he wasn’t an introvert. He had his own ways. He thought about his dad who toiled day and night to make their life comfortable. His mom was caring, protective and above all very lovely. His sister was his little angel. The burden of their expectations were heavy on him but he couldn’t deliver the way he wanted to. That did really hurt him.
Was something wrong with him? He never knew. Even when he was in his early twenties and life was moving faster in front of him, he couldn’t find his true passion for anything in particular. He had read numerous stories of successful people who did find their true passion at their young age. He always wondered why he couldn’t find his own?!!
He had spent nights on his bed staring blankly on his ceiling thinking what was his purpose of life, what was that he wanted out of it. What he was and why was he sent to this earth and what his destiny was!! All these thoughts kept nagging him every now and then. Unlike many of us, he didn’t try to run away from them, but faced it boldly hoping someday soon he will certainly unearth it on his own. Today was one such day when thoughts were hitting him hardly. It was then he remembered Dylan Thomas poem he had learned at his school,” Don’t go gently into that good night. Rage, rage against the dying of the light.” Yes, he was not ready to give up. He was ready to fight and unearth his true potential.
Turning with a smile he blended in the happy conversation with his family in ease while assuring himself that he was not ready to give up on himself.
It was then I realized that he was my own reflection….